Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed by the demands of life, as if you’re drowning in a sea of expectations and responsibilities? Do you find yourself consistently avoiding difficult conversations or shrinking away from challenges that seem too daunting? You’re not alone. Many of us are conditioned to believe that we should strive for ease and comfort, that vulnerability is a weakness, and that showing emotion is a sign of failure. But what if embracing difficulty, vulnerability, and raw honesty was the key to unlocking a more fulfilling and authentic life? That’s precisely the message at the heart of Glennon Doyle’s powerful and transformative book, *We Can Do Hard Things*.
Glennon Doyle, a bestselling author known for her vulnerability and unflinching honesty in books like *Untamed* and *Love Warrior*, has once again gifted us with a guide to navigating the complexities of life with courage and compassion. *We Can Do Hard Things* is more than just a catchy phrase; it’s a roadmap for building resilience, fostering genuine connection, and embracing a more authentic life. It offers practical tools for overcoming personal obstacles, dismantling societal expectations, and rediscovering the power that resides within each of us. This article will delve into the core message of the book, explore its key themes, and demonstrate how you can apply its principles to transform your own life.
The Core Message: We Can Do Hard Things Explained
The phrase “We Can Do Hard Things” might seem simplistic at first glance, but its power lies in its profound ability to shift our perspective. It isn’t about promoting toxic positivity or pretending that challenges don’t exist. It’s about acknowledging the inherent difficulties of life while simultaneously believing in your own capacity to cope, adapt, and overcome. It’s about replacing the pervasive narrative of helplessness with one of agency and empowerment.
At the heart of this philosophy is the concept of “Brutal Honesty.” Doyle argues that we must be ruthlessly honest with ourselves about our feelings, our needs, and our limitations. This honesty isn’t about being negative or dwelling on our flaws; it’s about creating a foundation of self-awareness upon which we can build a more authentic life. By acknowledging our struggles, we can begin to heal, grow, and create meaningful change. Brutal Honesty means looking directly at what scares you, admitting what you really want, and stopping lying to yourself about how you feel.
Doyle’s journey to this philosophy wasn’t easy. She openly shares her own struggles with addiction, mental health, and societal expectations in her book, demonstrating that vulnerability is not a weakness but a source of strength. While her experiences are deeply personal, the underlying message resonates with universal human experiences. We all face hard things, whether they’re related to relationships, career, health, or simply navigating the daily grind.
It’s important to understand that “hard things” don’t always involve grand, dramatic gestures. More often than not, they involve the everyday challenges of setting boundaries, expressing our needs, feeling our emotions, and being honest with ourselves and others. Learning to say “no,” admitting when we’re struggling, and prioritizing our own well-being can be incredibly difficult, but these small acts of courage are essential for living a more authentic and fulfilling life. The power of “We Can Do Hard Things” lies in its applicability to the smallest and largest challenges we face.
Key Themes and Concepts from the Book
*We Can Do Hard Things* explores a multitude of themes that intertwine to create a powerful and cohesive message of empowerment and self-discovery. Let’s explore some of these key concepts:
Feeling Your Feelings (Instead of Numbing)
One of the most important lessons from *We Can Do Hard Things* is the importance of allowing ourselves to feel our emotions, even the uncomfortable ones. Our society often encourages us to numb our feelings through various means, such as addiction, distraction, and avoidance. We’re taught that vulnerability is a weakness and that we should strive to be strong and stoic.
However, Doyle argues that numbing our emotions is ultimately detrimental to our well-being. When we suppress our feelings, they don’t simply disappear; they fester and manifest in other ways, such as anxiety, depression, and physical ailments. By learning to feel our emotions, even the painful ones, we can process them, learn from them, and ultimately heal.
The book provides practical tips for processing difficult emotions. Journaling, meditation, and therapy are all valuable tools for understanding and managing our feelings. Simply acknowledging and naming our emotions can be a powerful first step. It’s about recognizing that sadness, anger, fear, and grief are all valid and essential parts of the human experience. Learning to sit with these feelings, rather than running from them, allows us to develop greater emotional resilience.
Breaking Free from Societal Expectations
Society often places immense pressure on us to conform to certain expectations, especially for women. We’re told to be “good,” “perfect,” and self-sacrificing. We’re expected to prioritize the needs of others above our own and to suppress our own desires and ambitions. These expectations can create a sense of internal conflict and prevent us from living authentically.
Doyle introduces the concept of “cages,” which represent the societal expectations and limiting beliefs that hold us back. These cages can be both internal and external, and they can manifest in various ways, such as the pressure to be a perfect parent, the fear of being judged, or the belief that we’re not good enough.
Breaking free from these cages requires us to identify and dismantle the limiting beliefs that are holding us back. It requires us to question the societal expectations that we’ve internalized and to prioritize our own needs and desires. This can be a challenging process, but it’s essential for living a truly authentic life. Doyle encourages readers to identify their cages and dismantle them brick by brick, reclaiming their power and agency in the process.
Building Stronger Connections and Boundaries
*We Can Do Hard Things* emphasizes the importance of building authentic relationships based on vulnerability and mutual support. True connection requires us to show up as our true selves, flaws and all, and to allow others to do the same. This can be scary, but it’s the only way to create genuine and meaningful connections.
Equally important is the ability to set healthy boundaries with others and with ourselves. Boundaries are essential for protecting our energy, our time, and our emotional well-being. Learning to say “no” without guilt, to assert our needs, and to protect our personal space are all vital skills for maintaining healthy relationships.
Doyle discusses the importance of finding your “Knowing,” which refers to your intuition and inner wisdom. She encourages readers to trust their gut feelings and to make decisions that align with their own values and desires, even if those decisions go against societal expectations. Learning to trust your Knowing is a crucial step in living an authentic and empowered life.
Embracing Imperfection and Self-Compassion
The book challenges the pervasive pursuit of perfection and encourages readers to embrace their imperfections. No one is perfect, and striving for perfection is a recipe for disappointment and self-criticism. Instead, Doyle advocates for self-compassion, which involves treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to a friend.
Self-compassion involves acknowledging our struggles, recognizing that we’re not alone in our imperfections, and treating ourselves with kindness and acceptance. It’s about understanding that mistakes are opportunities for growth and that we don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love and belonging. Doyle encourages readers to practice self-compassion daily, reminding themselves that they are doing the best they can and that they are worthy of kindness and understanding.
Practical Applications and Takeaways
The principles outlined in *We Can Do Hard Things* can be applied to virtually any aspect of our lives. Here are a few concrete examples:
- Having Difficult Conversations: The book encourages us to approach difficult conversations with honesty, vulnerability, and compassion. Instead of avoiding conflict, we can learn to express our needs and feelings in a clear and respectful manner.
- Setting Boundaries with Family Members: Setting boundaries with family members can be particularly challenging, but it’s essential for maintaining healthy relationships. The book provides guidance on how to assert our needs and protect our personal space without causing unnecessary conflict.
- Coping with Anxiety: Doyle’s emphasis on feeling our feelings can be incredibly helpful for managing anxiety. By allowing ourselves to feel anxious, rather than trying to suppress it, we can begin to understand the root causes of our anxiety and develop coping mechanisms.
- Pursuing Your Passions: The book encourages us to identify and pursue our passions, even if they seem daunting or impractical. It’s about reclaiming our joy and living a life that is aligned with our values and desires.
The “Cheetah Print Is My Neutral” concept emphasizes finding what makes you feel powerful and authentic, and owning it. Don’t be afraid to embrace what makes you different and to express yourself in a way that feels true to you.
It’s important to note that Glennon Doyle has a successful podcast that expands on the themes of her book of the same name, *We Can Do Hard Things.* The podcast features conversations with her sister Amanda Doyle and her wife Abby Wambach, further illustrating the concept of community and support when facing difficulties.
Reception and Impact of the Book
*We Can Do Hard Things* has resonated deeply with readers around the world, becoming a bestseller and sparking countless conversations about vulnerability, authenticity, and resilience. The book has received overwhelmingly positive reviews, with many readers praising its honesty, its practicality, and its ability to inspire hope and empowerment.
The impact of the book is evident in the numerous stories shared by readers who have found solace, guidance, and inspiration in its pages. Many have reported feeling more empowered to set boundaries, to prioritize their own needs, and to embrace their imperfections. The book has created a sense of community among readers, fostering a supportive environment where people can share their struggles and celebrate their triumphs.
Conclusion
*We Can Do Hard Things* is more than just a self-help book; it’s a call to action. It’s a reminder that we all have the power to overcome challenges, to build meaningful connections, and to live authentically. By embracing vulnerability, practicing self-compassion, and breaking free from societal expectations, we can unlock our inner strength and create a life that is truly fulfilling. The power of the “We Can Do Hard Things” mantra lies in its ability to shift our perspective and empower us to face life’s challenges with courage and resilience.
Pick up the book, join the community, and begin your own journey of embracing difficulty and living authentically. Remember, as Glennon Doyle so eloquently puts it, “The braver you are, the luckier you get.”
